Here I am, 28 weeks pregnant, writing a blog post I honestly never thought I’d be writing. This pregnancy really does feel light the light guiding me through the darkness right now.
Last week I popped a Q&A on stories so I have used this as a basis to write this blog post. If you have followed my Instagram and blog for a while now, you’ll know I have been quite vocal about my longing for another baby over the last few years. Not just for me, for those precious new-born cuddles (despite how lovely they are) but for the family unit – we really wanted a Sibling for Alex. Being one of two myself (as is my husband) I know just how special that sibling bond can be. Feeling so blessed to finally be in this position & really hope it happens for anyone hoping for a pregnancy in 2021.
Whilst the circumstances for this pregnancy aren’t exactly what I had envisaged (year 2 of a Global Pandemic) our Biological clocks wait for no one (I’ve also been unable to take treatment for Endometriosis for years) and I am so thankful to be blessed with another little miracle (never taking for granted I’ve still a way to go yet until I can hold her in my arms).
People have asked If I am concerned about the age gap. Honestly not at all. As my journey alone illustrates you can’t always choose or plan these things. Looking at positives, Alex is old enough to understand what’s going on (I know he will be a wonderful little helper too) & I like to think I’ll be able to give them both that one on one time. I fully expect to be doing some tag teaming with my other half and juggling various schedules! Alex is thrilled. We told him the good news just before we found out the gender. He kisses the bump & we refer to her as ‘our (family) baby’. I’m being as careful as I can to answer any questions he may have as well as providing lots of reassurance. Pre lockdown we popped into Mama’s and Papa’s & he choose a pink cuddly bunny as a gift for her. I’ve been researching children’s books about the arrival of a new sister or brother and have ordered a couple online. I will also get a little present from the baby to give Alex (likely another ferocious looking schleich Dinosaur).
I didn’t announce my news this time around until I was 100% ready to (SO many considerations) making sure I had spoken with friends and family first too with not seeing people in person at the moment. Believe me when I say we have some other stuff going on behind the squares and things have been a little crazy of late.
Naturally, I am a little nervous about the birth side after a really long difficult birth last time around. If circumstances allow I like the idea of a water birth (in hospital) so that’s something I am currently looking into. Motherhood Blogs and real life experiences have been so helpful with this side of things.
One thing I am struggling with is staying as active as I usually am but I know I’m not alone in that (lockdown life). I am going on walks 45-mins to an hour most days and aiming for 10k steps per day via my Fitbit. Last time around I was working full time for a big corporate bank HQ. I commuted on foot to work and on the side of my actual Analyst role I would be patrolling the site selling raffle tickets and organising Tombola’s as a charity rep.
I guess I feel a little sad I’m not able to share the pregnancy journey with friends and family like the last one (I loved shopping trips with my Mum who I haven’t seen properly in such a long time as my Dad has been shielding) but despite the more difficult days, I just look at Alex & my bump to remind me how lucky I am.
I don’t think I have shared too much on social media yet in terms of baby purchases but I have been buying a few bits here and there. One item I couldn’t be without is a new Ewan the Dream Sheep. White noise is everything! I’ve also been eyeing up William Morris Dockatot covers (formally Sleepyhead of Sweden).
I hope to breast feed again (if I’m able to). My friends know only too well I’ve openly admitted it’s honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever done (no one really tells you about cluster feeding or being bitten ha ha) but I felt quite sad and rather emotional when our journey came to and end after 9 months. I would definitely aim to express daily this time so they take a bottle too as Alex point blank refused after around 6 weeks. It’s nice to give others a turn feeding the baby and gives you that bit more freedom from the intensity of on- demand feeding. I’d really like to be able to visit the hair salon within 7 months of giving birth this time! Joking. Kind of.
I’ve started a mood board for the nursery, carefully planning every little detail and it’s been a welcome distraction. Knowing they don’t sleep in their rooms until the 6 month + mark I haven’t been in the mad rush to buy things/be ready like last time. I think my chosen wall colour will be Calamine by Farrow and Ball – a beautiful soft pink.
There are a few things I am looking forward to trying differently this time. You live & you learn! Baby led weaning for one when the time comes and also trying cloth nappies/wipes once we are out of the new-born stage to try and be that bit more Eco friendly.
I’ve had a few people ask how I am doing as I haven’t been on social media as much lately. I tend to avoid spending time online if I’m not feeling myself. I’m definitely guilty of sharing the best bits online (not all of the bits). I had a little day trip to hospital earlier in the week (pesky UTI/low iron/Loin Pain) but have got meds so I am back home but slowing down the pace. Thank you as always for all of the kindness I have been shown.
As requested baby names I *probably* won’t be using but love ……
Girls: Clementine, Matilda, Ophelia, Martha, Poppy, Nora.
Boys: Arthur, Jaxon, Beau, William, Harry, Theodore, Albert.
Are you expecting this year or have you had a lockdown baby?
Until next time,